ENCLAVE IS CLOSING"
Here's how things will work over the next week or so: (subject to change)
Wednesday night will be SKALES. Cross and rain are presenting. Well worth the trip, they do a great presentation.
Next weekend will be the last parties. Both nights are play parties. Same rules as always. Same prices as always (15$ for members/$20 for guests) Same hours (8pm - 2am)
Sunday, the 9th, at noon, we'll be having a "going out of business" sale. Raffles, auctions and a kick asss BBQ courtesy of Blackwulf and MtDancer. Just about everything in the building can go. In addition to a few bucks to put towards the debtload, anything we sell I don't have to move and pay storage on. So, here's your chance to own a little piece of things. And it's not just the play equipment. There are some really nice couches, tables, artwork, chairs, etc in there. Easily nice enough for home use, if you needed furniture for your house. Some of the artwork is racy, but much of it is nice enough for home use.
For a gallery of auction items click here
Our address is: 6040 E 50th, Commerce City.
| The Hidden Value |
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| Wed, 07/25/07 | |
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for Issue number 30 Friday, July 06, 2007 The Hidden Value By Jack Rinella I am convinced that the foundation of the subculture that we call kinky are the three values of trust, respect, and honor, rather than any of the fetishes encompassed in the abbreviation BDSM. I say that because you can be kinky without being in our subculture. You can be kinky without being safe, sane, and consensual. You can be kinky and act in a downright dangerous or malicious way. Few of us live Leather as a lifestyle. In fact, I'm not even sure what a "Leather Lifestyle" includes, though I will admit that a great deal of my life involves alternative sexuality. There aren't many people, as far as I can tell, who have a naked slave, two male partners plus a boyfriend, a dungeon in their basement, and make part of their living writing about their kinky sex lives. The word lifestyle isn't even in the dictionary that I have on hand and the word style by itself isn't very helpful. Still, whether there is a Leather Lifestyle or not, there certainly is a subculture and a community in which many of us kinky folks find ourselves, enjoy ourselves, and are glad to be part of. Even if we do that only part-time there are values, as I wrote above, that seem not only helpful but necessary. I will also note that trust, honor, and respect are the foundation stones, among other values, of many other cultures as well. Today though I would like to write about the hidden value. You see, if our subculture is to prosper, and here I use the word in its widest sense: grow, nourish, thrive, become fulfilling and rewarding, then it must be built and lived in such a way as to make that possible. The hidden value is humility, "the state or quality of being humble of mind or spirit; absence of pride or self-assertion." If we are to respect others and honor them as well, it takes humility. Conversely, humility helps us avoid hubris, "Wanton insolence or arrogance resulting from excessive pride or from passion." It is hubris that can be the fatal flaw, blinding us to right action, isolating us from good counsel, leading us to think we are on the right path and making the right decisions when in fact we are deluding ourselves on the path to our own destruction. Humility says "I will listen carefully to your opinion," "I understand that I am not all-knowing," "There is the possibility that I do not see all things correctly." Hubris, on the other hand, says "I am above the law," "I know what's right and you don't," "I'm in charge and you don't understand." When I rant and rave about the current state of education in our alternative sexuality subculture, it is because I think that we spend too little time passing on the values that make us what and who we are and that protect us from ourselves and one another. We understand protection when it comes to physical and sexual safety but do we ignore it when it comes to psychological or communal protection? We tie each other up safely. We take care to use sterile needles and condoms. We check our partners' hands and feet to insure the proper circulation of blood. That is all well and good, as it should be. What, though, do we do to protect ourselves and one another from pride, from hubris, and from social, psychological, financial, and educational danger? It seems to me that as long as a good time is being had by all, we do little along these lines. It is only when lines have been crossed, when it is too late, that we react to those non-physical dangerous, inappropriate, illegal, or unfair practices. Now I am perfectly aware of the fact that the majority of individuals and groups act honorably, legally, and judiciously. I am not trying to paint with broad strokes. What motivates me, though, is the very real threat posed by the abuse of power. We deal with power all the time in both individual and communal situations. I can't help but remember that "Power corrupts." I sense that dictum in myself as I dominate my partner and my fantasies fill my mind with nefarious schemes and scenes. Patrick might say that I am too sensitive in these situations, but I would remind him that with power comes responsibility. It is humility that best dictates the use of power. As writer, speaker, and publisher I have a tremendous responsibility to act in a trustworthy, honorable, and respectful way. As tops and bottoms, the same applies to each of us. As leaders, as groups, and as social and corporate entities we have no less an obligation. Let me give some examples, though I am not writing about a factual individual or group. Rather my suggestions are meant to be illustrative as to what I mean. The swaggering, demanding, and predatory dom is acting in pride and filled with hubris. It is he or she who misuses his or her power. To attempt fetish play without proper training or adequate preventative measures is to be blinded by pride. To fail to ask for help because one fears that it will be seen as a weakness is irresponsible. If my illustrations seem weak as applies individuals, it is because in an individual case their ramifications are usually limited and in time are often corrected. On an organizational level, though, such is less the case. What kind of hubris affects leadership and organizations? How often are decisions made based on self-serving or limited understandings of their implications? How often does the idea "We've always done it that way" limit us from finding a better way to do it? When an organization is challenged to think in new ways, consider alternative methodologies, and investigate innovation or consultation with others, does it maintain its prideful stance? Does it boastfully consider itself above innovation, exempt from self-deception, or needless of fresh counsel? I began this column writing about trust. Wherein lies the public trust? How often is leadership treated like a privilege rather than a service? Who holds owners, producers, speakers, writers, and board members accountable? Must accountability be found only when disaster strikes? Do we have to let the lack of transparency mask greed, sloppiness, prejudice, hubris, or poor management? Now none of this is unique to us. I am writing about common, and usual, human failings. The angst of pride and hubris is nothing new. We are a young subculture. Our checks and balances are woefully inadequate. We have yet to develop processes to certify, to accredit, and to monitor our communal lives. We have no professional standards. Though we have some "generally accepted practices," in general they are not very clear nor well-elucidated. They are certainly not very extensive. The problem, as I see it, lies in our lack of humility. I spoke last week to a leader of a California munch who asked me if I knew what it was like "to herd cats." I do. We are strong and independent-minded players, "rugged individualists" as I call us. I would not change that for a minute. Still we must allow humility to channel our strength, to control our individuality, and to direct our organizations. If we fail to do so, our hubris will bring forth our own demise. Have a great week. You can leave me email at This email address is being protected from spam bots, you need Javascript enabled to view it or visit my website at http://leatherviews.c.topica.com/maag0K9abzK0xbqowrVb/ where you can subscribe to this column and receive it weekly. Copyright 2007 by Jack Rinella, all rights reserved. |
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